Benjamin

When Benjamin suggested that we meet at an independent coffee shop on the West Side, my first question was “Does it have parking?”. If you didn’t already know, parking in Los Angeles sucks. It’s in short supply and when you can find it, decipher the parking signs, and finally park, it’s usually expensive and inconvenient.  Searching for parking is one of the things I dislike most about Los Angeles. To me, it’s even worse than the traffic. No one wants to stress out before a date because they can’t find parking. Especially me. The stress makes me all sweaty and sweat usually ruins my hair, makeup, and outfit. And then have to walk far in your dress or heels. Not a good look for a date.

*Parking rant over*

Because of my lack of confidence in ample parking at the coffee shop, I left work early and arrived for the date early. It was an unseasonably warm day, so I decided to go inside and order a drink without my date. The coffee shop was really small. This was not a good choice for a first date. Especially one where we would be talking about an arrangement. Strike 1.

I texted my date to see where he was, and he was running late. I told him I would be standing outside in the shade because all of the 8 seats inside the shop were occupied. When he finally arrived I asked him if he had ever been there before. He said no, but that he “thought it looked good on Yelp”. I strongly believe that you should never, ever trust Yelp. Besides the fact that they extort small businesses, the reviews are written by the general public and the general public is stupid. Strike 2.

He didn’t want to order a drink, and since the coffee shop was full, he decided we should walk down the street to a park. I definitely wasn’t wearing my walking shoes. And, again, it was unseasonably warm. The park was full of kids. Loud kids. And I don’t like kids. For what ever reason a mom (or nanny) thought it was appropriate to bring her crying child to our quiet area of the park to try to get him to stop crying, apparently not giving any shits that we were trying to have a quiet, private conversation. Although the crying children weren’t totally his fault, that was still Strike 3.

The conversation was OK, and I didn’t totally hate his company. We said we would try to hang out again, but after that first date I’m not sure I trust this guys planning capabilities….

P.S. The drink I ordered at the coffee shop was really, really good. Get an Earl Grey latte if you ever see one on a menu.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Why does everyone want to talk on the phone?

Why do all of these men want to talk on the phone before they agree to meet? I’m quite content with just emailing and texting before we meet in person. Plus, I HATE talking on the phone. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great phone voice and can provide hours of intriguing conversation. I just find it tedious, and I just prefer face to face conversation.

I agreed to meet Jared* at Starbucks for a coffee break during the work day. We managed to coordinate the meeting without ever having to talk on the phone, which for me is absolutely ideal. I got there a few minutes early, ordered my drink, grabbed a table outside, and texted Jared to let him know where I was sitting.

We came walking up to the table and grabbed a seat. He then opens his mouth to introduce himself. OMG. This must be why potential Sugar Daddies always want a phone call first!!!  He had the absolute worst, most annoying, New York nasal accented voice ever. It was like Janice from Friends, but even worse.

I pretended not to be disturbed by the nails on a chalk board sound coming from his mouth. The place was starting to get a little crowded and tables were filling up quickly. This guy really liked to talk and spoke really loudly. OMFG this is embarrassing. Not only was the sound and volume of his voice just straight up irritating, it made it impossible to discuss anything discreetly. I was not interested in discussing any of my wants, needs, or desires with this guy in public. I definitely didn’t want ANYONE to think this was a date.

I have never downed a cup of hot tea that quickly. He tried to walk me to my car, so I said my car was really far away and he didn’t have to (my car was actually like 100 feet from where we were sitting). I also told him I would be in touch. I immediately blocked his number so that I would never have to hear that voice again!

What did I get myself into? More bad dates with socially awkward guys? I don’t know if I can go on another date like that again. But lesson learned. You should always talk on the phone before a date and save yourself the embarrassment of ending up in public with that guy!

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent (or annoying).

Lunch Break

His profile said he worked in a private office by himself and was looking for someone to stop by his office to play once a week. I figured I could always make some excuse to sneak out of the office for a few hours during the week. Doctors, dentist, and gynecologist appointments all make great excuses to get out of the office.

After a few messages we exchanged numbers and he said he wanted to talk on the phone. Ugh. I hate talking on the phone. He ended up calling me on a Saturday morning as I was pulling into a diner down the street from my apartment. I just wanted to have a quite (aka huge) breakfast by myself and enjoy my own company for awhile. I ended up having to talk to him for 30 minutes in the parking lot, while all I wanted to do was go stuff my face.

He told me that his previous Sugar Baby was a (inappropriately) young Colombian girl who he believed was the next big thing and wanted to help her become a professional singer. He said paid for her rent, living expenses, singing lessons, and recording sessions. My immediate thought was “this guy is a total idiot”, but my second thought was “she must give really good head”.  Either way I thought I would give it a shot.  We made plans for me to stop by his office in a few days around lunch time. I ended up having banana pancakes and Greek hash browns, just in case you were wondering.

This was the first time I met someone from the site on their own turf, so I was a bit nervous. I would always insist on meeting in a public place, so I have no idea why I agreed to meet at his office. We talked for about 30 minutes just getting to know each other and chatting about expectations. Then I decided this was my chance to see if I could ever pull off some type of seductive, sexy move involving a desk. So I inquired about something on his desk and leaned over the desk to have a closer look.

He came up behind me and started rubbing my ass. Yay! It worked and I am awesome. But that was all he did. Nothing more. And I actually enjoyed it. And I suppose I can respect a guy who doesn’t try to take things too far on the first meeting. Definitely not like dating a 20-something guy. Then he gave me $100 just for showing up. It was the first time that I had received cash from a potential Sugar Daddy.

I could definitely do Sugar Dating. I was on my lunch break from my big girl, real world job and I just made $100 by talking to someone for 30 minutes. I actually made money on my lunch break instead of spending it. This could be good…

Wayne Newton

I made plans to meet up at a really nice bar and I was really looking forward to it because I love that area of LA, even if it is an hour away from where I live. I arrived a few minutes early (I always try to do that), order a glass of wine, and sit at the bar to wait for my date.

His profile said he was in his mid 40’s. His picture (and there was only one) looked like he would be tall, dark, and handsome. When my date showed up I could not believe what I saw. I think he must have been confused when setting up his profile and put his birth year instead of his age. He was a solid 15+ years older than he said. Tall, dark, and handsome ended up being an old man with a (obviously) fake tan and (obviously) dyed black hair. He seriously looked like Wayne Newton. If you don’t know who that is you should Google it immediately. To top it all off, he had a hearing aid! A HEARING AID.

Great, so now I’m having drinks with my grandpa. Great. I seriously don’t know what to do, since this is the first time I’ve felt like I’ve been ‘catfished’. I decide to go with my tried and true solution – just drink more wine. After I started on my second glass of very expensive wine I start to feel better. I agreed to have dinner at a restaurant just across the street. I mean, why would I turn down good wine and good food? And maybe he can tell me a tale about how he survived the Great Depression (that’s supposed to be a joke).

Dinner with Wayne Newton was actually enjoyable, minus the fact that I had to lean in and talk really loudly so that he could hear me. And I was afraid that his fake tan might rub off on my clothes. We decided that we should see each other again, but neither one of us ever called or texted.

So is this how it’s always going to be? Drinking wine to get through bad dates? Is every Sugar Daddy out there just a weird person? I suppose I’m still up for trying Sugar Dating. It’s really not that different from using any of the other dating sites out there. Just lots of drinks on lots of bad dates….

 

 

Did he really just say that?

My office location is ideal for meeting potential Sugar Daddies. Near lots of nice (but not too fancy) restaurants that were perfect for a casual lunch during the work day or a drink after work. There were always lots of office types so it didn’t look out of place for an older guy to meet a younger girl for a drink. It would always look like we were going to/from work.

I agreed to meet Dick* for a drink during the week at one of my favorite restaurants. It was later in the afternoon, so there were only a few other people in the restaurant. Since it was the middle of the day and we both were supposed to be working, I didn’t mind that he had his laptop and was checking his phone. I was doing the same thing.

The conversation started off innocent enough. What do you do? Where do you live? How has your Sugar Dating experience been? Then, out of no where, Dick just starts talking about his glorious penis. How nice it is. That he has an amazing circumcision and that the doctor who performed it has framed pictures of his penis on the office walls. That I should feel really lucky if I ever got to see it. He even wanted to show me pictures of that he had saved on his phone.

We were in public! With other people sitting 10 feet away! Did he really just say that? Who does that?! I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to make a decision. Either throw the rest of my wine in his face because he is an asshole and clearly deserves it, or just chug it and leave. I chose the later. I downed my glass of wine and just got up from the table and walked away.

He didn’t try to stop me from leaving the restaurant and he never tried to get a hold of me again. Not that I ever would have returned any call, text, or email to him. And I definitely blocked his profile on the dating site. I wondered if this was a typical date for him. Just saying the most ridiculous things out in public and see if any his dates are into it. And since no self respecting woman is, he is just used to them walking out of restaurants in the middle of the date.

Whenever asks me if I’ve ever been on any bad dates, and this is the story I always share. But hey, at least drinking wine was involved.

*Name has been changed to protect privacy. But really, there couldn’t possibly be a more appropriate name for him.

My First Sugar Date

His profile said that everyone has physical chemistry with him. His pictures were so-so, the kind where you couldn’t really tell exactly what they looked like and when you meet them in real life they could show up looking like Paul Rudd, or they could show up looking like Quasimodo. I thought “You seem harmless enough, so yes, I will meet you for lunch”.

His choice of restaurant was, um, interesting. When I first decided to try Sugar Dating I was thinking I’m going to be dating wealthy men who eat at nice restaurants. He picked a chain restaurant, almost like an Applebee’s. I figured lunch is lunch, so why not. And he (probably) won’t try to murder me at family friendly venue, so it was probably a good idea.

He shows up. My immediate thought is “his profile said that everyone has physical chemistry with him”. I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell that was possible?! Oh well. I was already here and I might as well have a drink and get a meal out of this.

He was really, really awkward. Almost like I was making him nervous. Now I’d be lying if I said I had never made a man nervous on a date. I have been told I can be intimidating, and a have a resting bitch face that just won’t quit.

Turns out I wasn’t making him nervous. That was just the way he way. Kind of shy and meek, not strong or masculine the way I just assumed all Sugar Daddies would be. I asked how he first got started Sugar Dating, and he then told me about his terminally ill wife with all sorts of health issues who is no longer able to have sex. It was pretty heavy (aka depressing) conversation for a first date.

I ate my lunch as fast as I could without being completely obvious about it. He said we should get together again and I agreed. On my drive home I was left totally questioning my own abilities and intentions. Was I going to be able to do this type of dating? Does everyone have some sort of fucked up situation waiting for them at home? How many depressing stories am I going to have listen to? Could I even pull off being a Sugar Baby?

I decided that at this time I wasn’t emotionally capable of dealing with men who had real life problems that I couldn’t even imagine having to deal with. I never answered his texts and I never saw him again.

Falling into the Sugar Bowl

I don’t know how everyone else got started in Sugar Dating. It seems like there could be many different journeys you could take to get to this road.

Maybe a student who needs to buy books and food? I mean college just keeps getting more and more expensive by the semester.

Maybe someone who lost their job and needs to pay their rent? The job market out there is tough.

Maybe you heard about it from a friend? Maybe you just like nice things and nice restaurants? Or dating older men? Or you just like the idea of being a Sugar Baby?

And I always wonder how the Sugar Daddies find themselves here. I almost always ask my potential Sugar Daddies how they got started in Sugar Dating. I have heard some interesting stories, but most of the potential SDs claim that they “heard about it from a friend”.

Well I kind of just fell into this type of online Sugar Dating. I’ve always dated older men, even in high school. Back then it would be just a year or two older, but as I got into college they would be 3, 4, or 5 years older. I just liked being around men who were experienced and confident, not cocky. There is definitely a confidence that comes with age, as (hopefully) the cockiness fades.

I first found out about Sugar Dating, and that there was a whole life style built around it, while checking my email one day. There was a news story on the email home page about the Seeking Arrangement website. I clicked on the article and after reading it, I knew I would be joining this world. As it turns out, I had already had experience in as a Sugar Baby, I just didn’t know it at the time.

You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone…

Oh how true that sentence is. I’m sure that by the you’re reading this you will have already had at least one relationship (romantic or friendship) that you took for granted and didn’t realize how amazing that relationship was until it no longer existed. Enter my first ‘real’ boyfriend. I like to refer to him that way because he was the first man I dated after graduating from college, he was the first man I ever lived with, and the first man I ever relocated for. Since I get to choose a new name for him, we will call him Rob. After dating for just 6 months, Rob and I found ourselves relocating hundreds of miles away from ‘home’ to the Los Angeles area for his work, and his company would be paying for the entire relocation. And all of our living expenses. Free house by the beach! Yay!

I had recently graduated from college and, unfortunately, LA was not the ‘cool’ place for anyone in my social circle to move to. I ended up not know a single person in the LA area when I moved. He already had a great job with coworkers and friends from college that had been living in the area for years.

I immediately wanted to find a job and start getting settled and making friends. It was stressful. I had never been without a job since I was a freshman in college. I was so used to paying my own bills, that the idea of not needing to work for money to pay those bills was mind blowing. Rob really didn’t like me stressing out about finding a job and didn’t even want me to work. Me not work?? I was so offended that he thought that I would just sit at home waiting for him, and not be doing my own thing. Little Miss Independent over here absolutely was going to have her own 40 hour a week job.

And so I had that job. And I hated it. Rob wanted me to quit and not work, so I quit and found another job. I hated that one too. Again, Rob wanted me to quit and not work, so I quit and found another job. And I actually kind of liked this one (more on that topic later).

A few weeks after starting my third job in 3 years I came home to Rob sitting at the table. “We need to talk” was all he had to say. I knew in an instant it was over. I would be on my own. After the break up I decided that I would stay in the LA area, because I liked my new job and “all of my stuff is already here”. I didn’t have any family, and only a few casual friends. I needed to move out of our apartment ASAP, and that is when it hit me. It was going to be next to impossible to afford a comfortable lifestyle in LA on my own. But being the stubborn person that I am, there was no way that I was going to fail.

Looking back, why did I not take every advantage of someone who wanted to fully support me? I didn’t have to work at a job I hated. I didn’t have to work at any job! Rob and/or his company paid for EVERYTHING. Rent, utilities, food, vacations. Costs and prices were never discussed – everything was just paid for. I had a Sugar Daddy and didn’t even know it! The thought never even crossed my mind…

With Some Sugar On Top

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I always knew my life would turn out in a funny way. I’m just one of those people who just has the weirdest things consistently happen to them.

I decided to start this blog because I wanted to share my personal experiences with every one out there in an anonymous way. I’m sure my friends would die if they knew I was into Sugar Dating. I also wanted to share my many misadventures in the Sugar world. There has definitely been the good, the bad, and the ugly. There have been really great times, and some not so great times. Overall I have had a great experience so far in the Sugar World. I have found the men that I have met (and I’ve met my fair share of them) are much more honest and open than men I had met using ‘vanilla’ or ‘regular’ dating sites.

I hope that this blog provides you with entertainment and that you are also able to take some knowledge and advice away with you. I will share all of my stories, dates, trips, and misadventures with you. All of my stories are 100% true stories, the only information that has been changed in these is the names of the people involved as well as some of the locations for privacy reasons.